So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
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Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
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She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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