Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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