im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
ttyl tear gas
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize