I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
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A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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