you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
if only i could text you this smell
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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