I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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