sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize