I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize