everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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