She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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