At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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