sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize