I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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