dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
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We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
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She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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