I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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