dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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