I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
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I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
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That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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