haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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