Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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