I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize