yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize