I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize