yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize