I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
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Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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