Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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