I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize