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sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
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