You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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