My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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