I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
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Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
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I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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