Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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