your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize