Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
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It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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