she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
my sisters under your porch take her home
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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