That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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