I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize