So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wish i was in the wii world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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