y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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