I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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