Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
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Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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