he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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