Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize