I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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