do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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