You work out of a Hotel?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize