Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
