There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize