is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize