I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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