I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize