It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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