i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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